You swing and swing, but i got a larger sword. Well...its actually a axe.

The poor idiot which wanted to defend itself is stupid enough to attack Bruce Lee instead.

I'm not attacking Bruce Lee.

I'm attacking you. With an awesome sausage.

But because i like sausages, i eat it and nothing happens.

I transform you into Pinocchio and set you on fire.

I claim that I'm not actually on fire.

Of course, this is a lie, and my flaming nose shoots into your gut, impaling you.

ARRRGH! But thats nothing! Zombies dont need guts to survive. Only a brain.

Well...your brain looks delicious...im gonna take a AK-47 and shoot you into the head. The good part is, the AK-47 is modded of having 200 bullets which cost 400.000$ and 9000 SHarpness with a Rateoffire of 3000. Well, its a good part for me, not for you.

Train.
On your head.
Bam.

I jump to my left, dodging the train.

I lick you to death. :3

One does not simply lick metal. In the middle of winter. Seriously.

i attack you with Russian Ice. A Russian Ice of Block. When you lick it, you die. Why? Vodka Ice. Made from Vodka Gorbatschov, the Vodkas Soul!

Ew, I'm not gonna lick that.

I'll just... Kick you in the nuts.

I wear Armour the whole time. Also, it does +50 fire damage if you touch me.

Im getting in yo base, opening the water tanks, flooding the world. Nuking everything. Send Nazguls everywhere. Also, not to forget, i hire Chuck Norris to round-house kick you into the nuts.

Chuck Norris is a 70 year old man out of his prime. I take a step back and counter with a swift stab into the heart.
Also, I do not own water tanks large enough to flood the world, nor any nuclear explosives, and most definitely no Nazguls. Therefore you are incapable of stealing this materials and using them against me.

I teleport us the the Wild West, into a saloon. I yell as loud as I can, "THE FIRST ONE TO KILL THIS MAN, GETS 600 DOLLARS." while pointing at you. You are bound to a chair, muzzled and straightjacketed. Try to get out of THIS one, Mr. Houdini.

I join the hunt for Notsoscary, the man strapped to a chair.

With the $600, I hire a cheap hitman to snipe your brains.

I bribe the hitman. He does not snipe me.

I fart in your general direction.

I do not have a nose, nor some sort of nose-like orifice.

I am the hitman. I take the bribe, and still snipe you anyways.

Before the bullet could hit me, I knocked the chair over onto a knife that somehow cut open all the bindings and crap, and tear off the muzzle.

I fire dual chainguns that are implanted into my arms at you.