FOOL! I AM IMMUNE TO SUCH PETTY ASSAULTS!

I fire everything.

Nope.

I boil you with my laser eye beams.

I have a mirror and redirect the beams back at you.

I whip out a secondary mirror. The beam is now trapped.

I fire a water pistol.

I drink the water.

I attack you with a razor.

I dodge the razor and attack you with a chainsword.

I pull out the Demonbane Ragripper and rip your rags. (your guts out of you)

I pick up my guts and put them back in.

I get M.A.C.E. from Intrusion 2 to hurt you.

But I am a Baneling, so I burrow so that silly M.A.C.E Can't see me.

I roll at you at maximum speed and blow up into acid causing 20 damage (35 Damage to light).

FOOL! I WAS COVERED IN BAKING SODA!

Your burst corpse re-bursts again from the ensuing release of carbon dioxide.

((I already burst either way. Did you not read what I said?))

I revive from the Zerg Hive into an Ultralisk and slice the (Hearts :3) out of you with my huge claws.

p.s. you're not supposed to kill yourself while attacking, otherwise you look silly and no one can mount any retaliation

I counter with the trolltastic assertion that forum-roleplaying an explosive acid turd is dumb and nobody cares about Starcraft 2 except Korea.

This assertion gently bruises your feelings.

((This is not the time to argue on Starcraft. Now retaliate to the Ultralisk.))
((P.P.S. I am gently bruised... I guess?))

No.
Being an explosive green ♥♥♥♥ isn't cool.
Because being an explosive green ♥♥♥♥ isn't cool, and I am 2cool4u, your attack does no damage.

I send the spess marins
they are wearing shades (+30 cool, +5 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥)

The spesh mahrinez brought a set of playing cards. We play Go Fish well into the wee hours of morn.

I decide that enough is enough, and crash DRLFF. With a car. Directly implanted into the main server.