Well, it has been an interesting day.
Here is what happened to me, with varying degrees of frustration. It should be known that at least two of these pictures were taken two seconds after death, and one second after I *would* have won. I think the crate picture is one.
All these pictures were taken while playing the One-Man Army scenario, slightly modified to give me a robot and double-power jetpacks. This is because I got tired of playing a soldier who couldn't get up small hills. For example, the robot can fly after he's picked up a few light guns, but not after he's picked up one gatling gun. The initial weapons are the same as in vanilla CC, however. Nothing else has been changed, but... what an improvement! ... Oh, right, the humorous pictures!

(1)
Hm, image doesn't seem to be showing up for me. Here it is, again:

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.

(2)

Random soldier came in from right and killed me by velocity. From 100% to 0% in under half a second, not to bad. But, seriously, ♥♥♥♥ that guy.

(3)

Was playing slaughter on Nuts!, because I just like running around and shooting people, and this happened in my skybase. Still not sure how. I think a dropship landed on it, self-destructed, and the turret got glitched inside. Shame, it was a good run, too.

(4)

OK, so, this was even faster than the sudden crate and the random dude. A dropship engine -- I actually wasn't responsible for this one, for once! -- came in from the left on full burn and splattered me. Total frames: 5, maybe.

(5)

As Ricky said to Lucy, I "got some 'splainin' to do". The colours are an indication of time, basically step 1, 2, 3. The story here is that I shot down a dropship mk1 about half a screen away - comfortable distance, nothing out of the ordinary. However, the engine takes some damage, and it gets juuust enough horizontal movement to do two flips and land on the plateau where I was. Fearing my imminent crushing, I have seen that the ship is headed towards me and I've scurried back into my hole to the left. (Love that spot. Double your jetpack power, and try one-man army on the mountains-1 map. The valley to the right of this little cave eats rockets. ) However, as I'm crawling away, the dropship lands with the one remaining engine pointed towards me. I can see where this is going, so I choose that moment to get stuck where the sand ends. As I frantically try to free myself, and go another foot or two down the tunnel, the dropship blinks, explodes, and as if by magic that big orange lump to the left of the grenade detaches from the dropship, sails down the passage, and lands square on my poor little body. Utter failure, but SUCH A GOOD TRY! I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry.

(6)

I thiiink this one might have been a ship I shot down, but it's not impossible someone dropped a crate on it. The engine came up from below, bounced once, and veeeery slooowly, smooshed me to death. Deliberate malice if I ever saw it!

(·)

I had to go pick up one of the only several hundred medium diggers laying around. It was a close miss, all things considered, and... yes, I know this breaks the pattern of me dying in each picture, but it's still kind of funny.

That's all, folks!

Wouldn't the epic moments thread have sufficed?


[Also, here's a animation of me dying, 11 times. Or more accurately, 11 of me dying once.]

Welcome to Cortex Command.

Also Azzuki's right, epic moments would be the place.

Epic moments is the best advert for cortex ever.

Why not have his own thread? He's described a lot of common events in cortex command, not odd, unexpected epic occurrences. Discussion could very easily continue in the direction of "Oh god I know what you mean with those bloody dropship engines" without the fear of "IF YOU POST IN THE EPIC MOMENTS THREAD WITHOUT AN EPIC MOMENT YOU DIE".

Just requires that we maintain some sort of clear difference between this thread and Epic Moments. I suppose Epic Moments really doesn't have quite enough actual deaths for it to become an issue, though.