They have subtitles that work in media players, such as VLC player, but I need those subtitles burned onto the video itself.
I am absolutely terrible at pretty much anything involving media like this.
If anyone knows how and can describe the process, or is just willing to do so for me, I'd be eternally grateful.

So you have an mkv that you want as an avi/wmv with subtitles?

Yes. I'd prefer it in MP4, since it'll need to get converted to that eventually, but I THINK I can handle that one.

How long are we talking here?

Half an hour or so each I think, 14 episodes.

There's no way I'd be able to do that in anything less than 3 weeks of solid converting, so that'd be a no, sorry.

Is Datarealms google or something?
http://www.afterdawn.com/guides/archive ... to_avi.cfm
I found this with a single google search. First result. Jesus christ.

Will that work for .mkv files that directly contain the subtitles?

Gee I dunno why don't you find out. I ♥♥♥♥ googled it, just like you could have, and I literally know nothing more about the process than what that page lists. I'm not going to ♥♥♥♥ research your problem for you. Good god damn, how lazy can you get?

Because those look like several programs I'd rather not install if I don't have to, especially if there's no promise that it'll work with what I have AND I have found a semi-viable alternative already.

Well then good golly, looks like you didn't need to post on a forum requesting someone do something for you after all, huh?