Well, it has been an interesting day.
Here is what happened to me, with varying degrees of frustration. It should be known that at least two of these pictures were taken two seconds after death, and one second after I *would* have won. I think the crate picture is one.
All these pictures were taken while playing the One-Man Army scenario, slightly modified to give me a robot and double-power jetpacks. This is because I got tired of playing a soldier who couldn't get up small hills. For example, the robot can fly after he's picked up a few light guns, but not after he's picked up one gatling gun. The initial weapons are the same as in vanilla CC, however. Nothing else has been changed, but... what an improvement! ... Oh, right, the humorous pictures!
(1)
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I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
(2)
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random dude.jpeg [ 96.17 KiB | Viewed 2813 times ]
Random soldier came in from right and killed me by velocity. From 100% to 0% in under half a second, not to bad. But, seriously, ♥♥♥♥ that guy.
(3)
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explanation please.jpeg [ 82.64 KiB | Viewed 2813 times ]
Was playing slaughter on Nuts!, because I just like running around and shooting people, and this happened in my skybase. Still not sure how. I think a dropship landed on it, self-destructed, and the turret got glitched inside. Shame, it was a good run, too.
(4)
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Engined.jpeg [ 158.61 KiB | Viewed 2813 times ]
OK, so, this was even faster than the sudden crate and the random dude. A dropship engine -- I actually wasn't responsible for this one, for once! -- came in from the left on full burn and splattered me.
Total frames: 5, maybe. 
(5)
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Engine'd 3.jpeg [ 200.16 KiB | Viewed 2813 times ]
As Ricky said to Lucy, I "got some 'splainin' to do". The colours are an indication of time, basically step 1, 2, 3. The story here is that I shot down a dropship mk1 about half a screen away - comfortable distance, nothing out of the ordinary. However, the engine takes some damage, and it gets juuust enough horizontal movement to do two flips and land on the plateau where I was. Fearing my imminent crushing, I have seen that the ship is headed towards me and I've scurried back into my hole to the left. (Love that spot. Double your jetpack power, and try one-man army on the mountains-1 map. The valley to the right of this little cave eats rockets.
) However, as I'm crawling away, the dropship lands with the one remaining engine pointed towards me. I can see where this is going, so I choose that moment to get stuck where the sand ends. As I frantically try to free myself, and go another foot or two down the tunnel, the dropship blinks, explodes, and as if by magic that big orange lump to the left of the grenade detaches from the dropship, sails down the passage, and lands square on my poor little body. Utter failure, but SUCH A GOOD TRY! I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. 
(6)
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engined 2.jpeg [ 151.08 KiB | Viewed 2813 times ]
I thiiink this one might have been a ship I shot down, but it's not impossible someone dropped a crate on it. The engine came up from below, bounced once, and veeeery slooowly, smooshed me to death. Deliberate malice if I ever saw it!
(·)
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blocked.jpeg [ 38.83 KiB | Viewed 2813 times ]
I had to go pick up one of the only several hundred medium diggers laying around. It was a close miss, all things considered, and... yes, I know this breaks the pattern of me dying in each picture, but it's still kind of funny.
That's all, folks!
